


i picture it, soft (and i ache)

by spitefulspphic



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/F, avatar!yue, it's gay and it's fluffy idk what else to say, yuetara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:40:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26011288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spitefulspphic/pseuds/spitefulspphic
Summary: The Avatar's duty is to the world, and yet almost all of her past lives have bound themselves with another.(avatar yue au)
Relationships: Katara/Yue (Avatar)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 109





	i picture it, soft (and i ache)

**Author's Note:**

> this is so self-indulgent i'm honestly not sure what this is. enjoy yue being a gay mess, i guess.

The Avatar's duty is to the world, and yet almost all of her past lives have bound themselves with another.

Yue doubts she has any say in the choosing, like most things in her life. Almost everything seems to be predetermined for her, except for a precious few. She hopes this is one of those exceptions.

She can't help but long for the prospect of it sometimes. To have someone, an equal and a partner, to claim and be claimed by, body and spirit.

In a world where she isn't the Avatar and is only a princess, marriage would simply be for convenience, a political tool. She can't expect marital happiness to be one of the Avatar's priorities.

 _Still_.

Almost all of her past lives have bound themselves with another.

~

**ember island**

_Katara still doesn’t trust the Fire princess._

_“I can’t sleep in that house knowing she’s there,” she tells Yue indignantly. They’re sitting on the beach, toes curling in the damp sand. Being this near to the sea makes her blood sing with the waves, and the girl next to hear makes her yearn like the tides reaching out fruitlessly to the moon._

_But there are bigger problems to face._

_“Katara,” she says soothingly, “Azula saved our lives. We can trust her.”_

_“She does seem to hate her father very much.” Katara inhales deeply and releases her breath in a long sigh. Her smile when she faces Yue looks tired, but Yue thinks she’s radiant all the same. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want you to get hurt.”_

_“I can handle myself,” she says, her voice calm._

_“I know that, but it’s my nature to worry, I guess.” Katara’s hand moves an inch, their pinkie fingers touching. A rush of cold breeze almost makes Yue lean closer, but Katara beats her to it when she rests her head on Yue’s shoulder._

_It reminds her of evenings spent in the South Pole as a child when her father brought her along with him to visit their sister tribe, of the many times Katara talked her into sneaking out at night, watching Katara show off her waterbending or simply sitting by her side on the ice to watch the moon._

_The gentle weight against her side and the sweet calming scent of Katara’s hair are enough to lull Yue to sleep, but all her senses are wide awake._

~

Her friend Azula is the definition of decisiveness.

She burns through life the way she wields her crackling flames, stark blue and perfectly controlled, measured by how much power she needs, like how she knows when to resort to aggression and when to practice patience. A perfect marriage of sharp instincts and logic.

Though judging by the dubious look on her face, cut through by the rising sun behind her, it was probably a mistake to approach her for advice.

“And you’re asking me because?”

“Well, you always seem to know what to do all the time,” she sputters in between breaths, still reeling a bit after being put through quite a complicated drill by Azula, the ever stern Sifu that she is. Just because they’re on vacation doesn’t mean she gets a pass on endurance training after all.

“You mean when we’re being chased by my father’s goons or when we’re plotting to dismantle his rule.” Azula looks amused. “How on earth could I help you sort out your _feelings_ when I could barely grapple with mine.”

“Really?” She wouldn’t have thought that.

Azula smirks at her. “I’m not the person to go to for help on these matters because I simply do not deal with feelings, I bury them until they decompose like my dear father’s remains somewhere in the bottom of the sea where we left him.” She points a perfectly manicured finger on Yue’s chest. “They’re a weakness and you should know that.”

“How about Ty Lee?”

Azula flusters, and Yue considers this a triumph. “What about her?”

It’s Yue’s turn to look smug now.

“You two are inseparable, for one.”

“That’s not relevant."

“You let her hold your hand, do your hair,” she ticks off, “you get so protective when she's in danger, even let her sleep in the same bedroll sometimes when—”

“That’s enough,” she snaps with a grimace. “You’ve made your point.”

Yue smiles up at her innocently, earning her an eye roll. “You’re really not one to talk, Yue. You do all of those with Katara.”

 _There lies my problem_ , Yue thinks. She huffs loudly, a habit she copied from either Toph or Ty Lee, or both.

Azula finally thaws and takes pity, which entails a derisive look from her and Yue gearing herself up for the flurry of sharp words that counts as _advice_ for Azula.

“Let me get this straight, you’re confused about what you feel for Katara?” inquires Azula, and Yue’s cheeks suddenly feel warm. She’s grateful her foresight made her decide to ask Azula during their outdoor endurance training when they’re away from potential eavesdroppers. Unlike them, their companions are not early risers.

“It’s not that I’m confused.”

“What, then?”

Yue sighs. Thinking about this too much is more wearying than her strenuous training regimen under Azula. At least she can soothe her sore muscles with her healing. “I just don’t know how I can be _sure_.”

“Be sure of what?” Azula tilts her head at her. She’s being miraculously patient about this.

“Of what I feel for her,” she answers quietly. “What if I’m wrong? I haven’t found any text pertaining to how past Avatars found their spouses. There has to be a certain way to go about this that I missed, what if the spirits already set someone else for me? Everything else seems to work out that way. I could ask my past lives, of course, but I’m worried that it’s too trivial a problem to…”

Her rambling tapers off when she sees Azula’s rather pained look, like that time she was forced to finish a whole serving of sea prune soup for etiquette’s sake.

“Yue, what in Roku’s hideous beard are you talking about?”

She wipes the sheen of sweat from her forehead with her arm wraps to distract herself from her sudden embarrassment. “I am the Avatar, even my very existence is a part of a larger destiny that transcends everything I know. I was just being… _cautious_.”

“There’s being cautious, and there’s being an absolute fool.” When Yue casts her eyes down, Azula sighs. “Alright, listen, I know you grew up believing the opposite but just because you’re the Avatar or a princess doesn’t mean you don’t get to decide things for yourself.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Oh, but I do.” When Yue looks up again, she’s met by Azula’s dagger smile and gilded eyes blazing with self-assurance. She says, “The Fire Sages and my father prattled on and on about countless prophecies and destinies for me since I was born, and I believed them for a long time.” Azula shrugs airily. “Then I got wise and learned how to think for myself. Now I'm more than just my father's shadow or his tool. _I_ made that happen. I don’t see why _you_ can’t.”

It’s not exactly the same, but she has to admit, Azula’s confidence is melting her doubts a bit. “Let’s say you’re right—”

“I’m always right.”

“—it still doesn’t solve the other thing I’m worried about.”

Azula caught the bridge of her nose between her thumb and her pointer. “How many of these girl problems do you even have?”

“I’m worried I’ll ruin our friendship.”

“And that’s my cue to leave,” Azula mutters and dusts her herself off. “You are so getting extra minutes of endurance training next time, by the way,” she adds as she saunters past Yue towards the house.

"Was expecting that." She giggles. “Thanks for the advice!”

~

**kyoshi island**

_Kyoshi Island is one of Yue’s most favorite places in the world. She can feel the presence of one of her past selves down from the scent of freshly-turned earth to the painted faces of the Kyoshi Warriors._

_The swarm of admirers, strange as it is to call them that, is something she still needs adjusting with._

_In any case, it's still the best place to learn airbending other than the Air Temples. It’s relatively isolated, the villagers may be eager hosts but they give her enough space when she needs it, and she gets to be close to the sea at all times._

_Yue and Jinora are off by themselves on a spot they found, surrounded by a thicket of trees as they meditate together after a day’s worth of training._

_“Um, hello,” a voice says, cutting through the quiet. It’s Katara, she realizes belatedly. She and Jinora turn to her. Katara is standing over the brook that separates their clearing from the footpath leading back to the village, her hands clasped behind her. “I’m sorry for interrupting, but someone from the Southern Air Temple just arrived,” she says to Jinora. “He’s asking for you.”_

_“Is there anything wrong?” Yue asks, quickly scrambling back to her feet._

_“It’s probably just my brother.” Jinora nods at Katara. “Thanks for telling me.” With that, Jinora grabs her glider and flies away, the fallen leaves fluttering in her wake. Leaving Yue alone with Katara for the first time since they arrived on the island._

_She wants to hug her friend, but she’s never been the one to initiate those._

_As if she read her mind, Katara leaps across the brook and barrels right into her, arms tight around Yue’s shoulders. “How’s training going so far?” she asks after pulling away._

_“Slow,” she admits sheepishly, “but Jinora says that’s normal. Apparently, I’m not the first waterbending Avatar to have trouble with airbending but she says I’m doing better than what her superiors expected.”_

_“That’s great, Yue!” Katara says, brightening up. “Are you done for the day, though?”_

_“I think so.”_

_“Good, ‘cause Azual and I are sparring in front of the Kyoshi statue later and the whole village will be there to watch. Suki said it’s some sort of Kyoshi Warrior initiation rite but we wanted to try it for fun.”_

_The last time they did something like this, they left singed grass and ice spikes all over the Southern Air Temple gardens. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”_

_“Technically, it was Toph’s idea, I just got mixed up because Azula challenged me.” She scoffs. “Besides, our last duel was… inconclusive.”_

_“If it matters, I’ll be rooting for you.”_

_“You better be.” Katara grabs her hand and breaks into a run, splashing water around their feet as they cross right through the brook, their laughter mingling with the chirping of birds. It’s almost like everything is normal and there isn’t any existing threat of war and destruction on the horizon._

_Perhaps the spirits can forgive her for this small indulgence._

~

Katara tugs at her hand. “I’m going to find Sokka. He said he has a letter from Mom for me.”

“Okay,” she says, then watches Katara walk away until she disappears into the crowd.

She’s still craning her head to spot Katara among the cluster of villagers when a poke to her side startles her. She turns and finds Suki and Ty Lee staring, wearing identical expressions beneath their identical makeup. Ty Lee’s wide eyes—made sharper and wiser-looking with the kohl she applied—are now fixing Yue with a discerning look as if she just caught her doing something unseemly and was smugly delighted by it.

“So…” says Ty Lee. “Azula told me about your _little_ problem.”

“What problem?” her voice squeaks.

“Oh, you know what I’m talking about. How you’re hopelessly smitten with Katara.” Ty Lee’s eyes twinkle like glittering orbs of menace Yue can’t hide away from. “Though I have to admit we’ve known the whole time.”

Yue is mortified. “You have?”

“Uh-huh. Your aura just _glows_ when you two are together! I’m glad you’re verbally acknowledging it now. It’s a good first step in manifesting what you want.”

“To be honest, we’re all just waiting for it to happen,” Suki chimes in.

“Totally.”

“It’s inevitable.”

Turns out, she’s not as subtle as she thinks she is. _Great_. She suffered through years of etiquette training and restraining emotions as a princess with nothing to show for.

“Cheer up, Yue,” Suki says to her and goes to sit on the space Katara had occupied just minutes ago.

Ty Lee shifts closer to her, looping her arm with Yue’s. “I’m sorry if we made you uncomfortable.”

“No, it’s fine, I’m just… I don’t know.”

“Are you still confused about that soulmate thing?”

She turns to Ty Lee. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about.”

“Azula said you’re worried about not choosing the right person,” Ty Lee explains. “Something about some wishy-washy Avatar destiny?”

“Oh, that. I’m not worried about that.” Yue blushes a bit. She already sought her predecessors' wisdom on the matter and was embarrassed to find out that her concerns were utterly pointless. “It’s just scary, you know,” she admits.

“Tell me about it,” says Ty Lee with a sage nod. “But it’s worth it, trust me.”

Suki lightly nudges her on the shoulder. “Take as much time as you need, though. You earned that. I mean, you did stop a war from happening.”

“I can’t take full credit for that.”

“You _should_ if you want to impress Katara." Ty Lee wiggles her brows and laughs. 

“Word of advice though, don’t let any of those sleazy admirers get to Katara first, so keep an eye out," Suki says to her solemnly, yet the mischief in her eyes belies her tone.

Yue humors her with a grin. “I’m sure I can manage them.”

~

**gaoling**

_Her bouts of self-doubt visited her less frequently since leaving Agna Qe’la with Katara. But now that she’s finally found an earthbending teacher, and a prodigy at that, her apprehensions start to creep at her again._

_She and Katara were the only ones still awake. The fire they started is slowly dying and the moon has waned, even the shadows behind the trees near their camp are darker than before. But darkness and the whisperings of the night no longer scare her, the same way the phantoms in the stories she grew up hearing have all rippled to insignificance when real-life dangers broke through the protective barriers of her childhood. Real horror is the golden-eyed man who sits in his throne of Fire plotting the world's doom, and Yue's fear of failing the people she loves._

_She’s jolted out of her reverie when Katara brushes her hand with hers. “Something on your mind?” she asks quietly._

_Yue shakes her head. She doesn’t want to burden Katara with her troubles any more than she already does._

_“You know, I’ve been thinking…” Katara trails off. She starts worrying at her bottom lip and Yue’s eyes fixate on that small movement, a familiar longing ache replacing her old fears._

_A few moments tick by when Katara finally speaks again. “Maybe we should stay put somewhere and lie low for some time. Just for a little while. I think you can really focus on your earthbending when Fire Nation spies aren’t chasing us around or people aren’t hassling you all the time,” she says, her voice rising with every word. “And yes, you’re the Avatar, but I swear people just don’t know when to leave you alone. I hate watching them drag you around, expecting you to just magic their petty problems away then get upset when they realize things aren’t as simple as that!” Katara sucks in a breath through her nose and her anger clears. “I just think it will do you good to get away from all that for a bit.”_

_Yue feels a rush of affection surge through her, mustering enough energy to give Katara a smile, albeit weary. “That’s a good idea,” she says._

_Katara blinks at her. “Really?”_

_She nods._

_“Huh. I thought you were going to insist on going around helping people.”_

_“I thought_ you _were going to do that.”_

_“The Earth Kingdom is flourishing,” she points out. “It’s not like people are starving or dying. They just want to use you to make their lives easier.” Katara extends a hand to cup her cheek, and Yue wills herself not to lean her face against her palm. “And you’re wearing yourself out while the Fire Lord is out there biding his time and gathering his strength.”_

_Katara’s words hang in the air like bad omen. Her hand falls away, leaving Yue bereft._

_“He’s not going to win, Katara. I won’t let it happen,” Yue says with as much conviction her tired voice can manage._

_“I know you won’t.” A tinge of sadness brushes across Katara’s features even as she puts on a smile. “I just don’t want to lose my best friend while she’s saving the world.”_

~

Yue is pacing back and forth in the spacious living room, wringing her hands and muttering under her breath, when Toph walks in.

“What’s got you all fussy, _Your Iciness_?” Toph asks as she plunks down on the perfectly polished floor of the Beifong household. She’s recently patched things up with her parents, which is why they’re here as honored guests of one of the Earth Kingdom’s most influential families.

Yue stops her pacing, considers leaving the room, then resolves to stay and sits down beside Toph. “Nothing. It’s nothing,” she lies.

“ _Psh_ , why do people forget that I can always tell when they’re lying.”

“Not always. There’s Azula.” she points out.

“Azula doesn’t count, and you're changing the subject," Toph says with a suspicious frown.

Yue resigns herself to her fate and sighs. “It’s Katara.”

“Ha! Knew it.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” she warns.

For a moment, Toph looks like she’s trying hard to stifle her laughter, but then she shakes her head and sobers. “You get a pass this time since I’m feeling generous. What’s up with Katara, anyway? You guys breaking up or something?”

“We’re not even dating, Toph.”

“But you want to ask her out?”

“I’m not—”

Toph chuckles. “That explains it.”

“Alright, fine, I do,” she blurts out, her fists clenching. Katara went with Suki to go to the town’s bazaar and kissed Yue on the cheek before leaving, and now Yue’s thoughts are all amok.

“Gee, Iciness, no need to get all worked up.”

“Sorry, I’m just nervous.”

The corner of Toph’s mouth quirked up. “I can tell.”

“I’ve been planning to ask her since we were in Kyoshi and I keep putting it off.”

“That’s stupid.”

“I said don’t make fun of me!” she exclaims, her voice bouncing through the lush walls.

Her nerves are making her… not herself.

She’s about to apologize when Toph lets out a laugh. "You got it bad, don't you?"

She nods but doesn’t say anything.

“Tell you what, I’m pretty sure Katara is half in love with you already. It’s honestly disgusting.” Toph thumps her back, which is the closest thing to affection that anyone can get from her. “So get out there and give it your best shot. Just don’t go all gooey in front of me when you two actually start dating.” 

She chuckles, feeling her nervousness slowly ebb away. “Thanks, Toph.”

~

**agna qel'a**

Yue is standing in the small balcony attached to her old chambers, glancing over the cold balustrade to look at the courtyard down below, when she sees a lone figure stepping out into the moonlit grounds.

When she finally notices that it’s Katara, her breath catches.

She watches Katara glide through Southern waterbending forms that even Yue herself still stumble through sometimes whenever she attempts to mimic Katara’s own bending style. She draws water from one of the large fountains and wills them into whirling tendrils in the air, which swirl and glow around Katara like serpentine spirits drawn to her brilliance but never quite reaching out, just circling and circling and circling...

Yue recognizes that same hesitant desperation. She’s grown tired of it.

Feeling her resolve hardening, she steps out of her room, descending flights of stairs and winding through the halls of her father’s icy fortress. The few palace staff that are still awake at this hour doesn't notice her or choose to pay her no mind. 

The crisp night air meets her as she treads past the monolith-like palace doors, light gusts of wind rippling her robes when she steps down the grand staircase leading to the courtyard.

Her heart in her throat, she makes her way towards Katara. Katara who is desperately beautiful as she sways and glows in the night, ocean wrought in flesh. Katara who, when she spots Yue approach, stops her graceful dance and causing the water she's bending to be suspended above her. Yue smiles her careful smile and the water churns into snow with a crunching sound. She laughs as Katara relinquishes her control on the pile of snow, causing it to fall on her.

“Now you've just made yourself cold.” Yue bends the snow away with a flick of her hand. She steps closer and starts rubbing her hands on Katara's arms as they watch the white clumps be swallowed by the flowing water of the fountain. Yue warms her palms a bit, just enough for it to seep through Katara’s parka.

“That was embarrassing,” says Katara. The only light they have is from the full moon peering down at them, but it was enough for Yue to see the dusting of red on Katara’s cheeks.

“I didn't mean to startle you.”

“Oh, no, that wasn’t—” Katara gestures vaguely to her head, “it's your hair.”

Yue self-consciously touches her pale locks, but Katara catches her hand and pulls it down. “You look beautiful with your hair down.” She punctuates her words by linking her gloved fingers with Yue’s bare ones.

People rarely see her not wearing her usual braids, even Katara, who only does see her hair like this when Yue has to ask her to put it up in elaborate formal styles she used to constantly wear as a princess when they have to attend a ball or an important political function.

Katara's hair is also unbound, tumbling down her shoulders and back, the moonlight kissing the top of her head like a crown.

“Walk with me?” she asks Katara, who grinned and starts leading her forward as if she was the one who asked her instead.

Katara has always been the one to push her, even as young girls with her bold whims and even bolder dreams. If it wasn’t for her, Yue wouldn’t have gained enough strength to be her own woman, to grasp at what she wants and do what she feels is right and not just watch passively by accepting things as it is.

Avatar Aang left the world in a peaceful and prosperous state, yet a single lifetime cannot eradicate all the ills in the world. She’s always wanted to fight for what she believed in, but Katara was the one to reach a hand out to help her escape the fruits of her sheltered upbringing that had once barred her from doing anything she deems meaningful.

They languidly traverse the courtyard quietly. Yue, to her own surprise, is the one to break the silence. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”

“Me too.”

Yue stops. Katara’s expression is grave and they just stand there looking at each other for a long, heart-stopping moment…

…Then Katara laughs loud enough for the sound to echo through the ice walls.

“You’re the worst,” she says but lets out a small laugh of her own.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it.” Katara wipes at the corner of her eyes. Gradually, her face sobers back to seriousness. She says, “What was that you were telling me?”

“I was going to ask you out on a date,” she says flippantly, “but clearly you’re not interested.”

“W-what?” Katara sputters, her eyes growing animatedly wide.

Yue feigns a yawn. “We should get back inside, don’t you think?”

“No, wait.” Katara grabs her by the arm before she can step any further towards the direction of the palace entrance. “You’re asking me out? On a date?”

“Yes.” 

“Like, a _real_ date.”

She can’t help but giggle. “Yes, Katara.”

“Wow,” Katara breathes out. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to do that. I was so close to asking you myself.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I was afraid you would— agh, I don’t know.” Katara blows on a wayward strand of hair that fell on her face. “I wanted to for a long time, but you had a lot in your hands and I didn’t want to distract you from all of it. And you’re my best friend, I was afraid you’d see me differently if you knew I – if I was… you know what I mean.”

Yue wants to laugh, or scream at the top of her lungs.

She forgoes any of that. Instead, she leans in to place a gentle kiss on Katara's cheek.

“I’m sorry I took so long.” _I also had my own fears_.

The grin Katara gives her then can tame the harshest of storms. “Kiss me for real and I’ll forgive you.”

That gave Yue the push she needed, and she closes the remaining distance between them.


End file.
